The Adventurer
On Saturday 25th Aug I will plonk my 16 stone olympic framed body on a bike with a razor blade for a saddle, and cycle from the bottom of England to the very top of glorious Scotland.
As is usual in the sport of cycling, I will have drugs coursing through my body on a daily basis. These drugs will be Red wine, Guiness and Espresso.
My journey is now complete, please enjoy the blog.
Thank you!
The blog
After a tearful farewell from Giffnock, I arrived in St Ives Thursday Lunchtime. Lovely day by the pool with a few glasses of Pimms. Then followed a wee walk around St Ives seeing old friends and enjoying a couple of pints of Guinness My hosts are Gordon and Claire Mackie and their beautiful daughters Teagan, Ainslie and the gorgeous Saffi.
Claire made a fantastic risotto for dinner, washed down by 7 bottles of red wine between 4 of us. DJ Mackie was in the house, and we danced till the small hours, then Claire decided to throw red wine over me A most enjoyable evening.
Got the wine but not a full bike.
The Mackies, making sure i leave.
Day 1
Sat 25th (Lands End - St Austell)
I was just a skinny lad, never new no good from bad'. Queen, Fat Bottomed Girls started me off on my journey through my MP3 Glasses. It was a late start on Sat, thanks to Gordon and Claire leading me astray. Got to bed at 3.20am...... Not good training. Still, we had to stay out so that the whole of St Ives could admire Claires £945 Chloe bag. Miserable bugger would'nt swap it for one of my bike panniers.
So, back to the cycle. Big Gordon, Aunty Grace, Gordon, Claire and Saffi came to Lands End to way me off. It happened to be the hottest day of the year, so fatblokeonabike turned into fatsweatyblokeonabike. It was paricularly beautiful going past Penzance. If I was'nt so late, I would have stopped to take a picture of St Michaels Mount, but duty called. I made cracking time, getting in to St Austell at 6.45pm for a well deserved 3 pints of Guiness.
Total Time: 4hr 45min
Distance: 55.22miles
Ride Time: 4hr 9min
Avv Speed: 13.28mph
Claire with THAT bag.
It all begins now.
Day 2
Sun 26th (St Austell - Dartmoor)
Great evening in the Duke Of Cornwall hotel. Rare Fillet steak (£11.50). Washed down with 3 small glasses of red. Breakast was a full English feast. If you dont mind the Fawlty Towers service, it is brilliant value for an evening.
Earlier start today, being 10.00am. Thank goodness, as this was the day from hell. The days pattern was cycle about half a mile on the flat, then tank it down a big hill, then slog it out for about 45 mins up the North face of the Eiger, back to half a mile on the flat etc, etc, etc. It was monotonous, murderous, and soul destroying.
I had to stop even more than normal because my sun tan lotion was mixing with my sweat, going into my eyes and changing me from Lance Armstrong to Stevie Wonder on a bike! To make matters worse, the few times I got some speed up, the ponies on Dartmoor decided to come into the middle of the road, very interested on this sweaty bloke on a bike making funny noises with his iron lung!
Eventually finished at 5.45pm, but unfortunately my B&B met me before I reached a pub. Cup of Tea and a shower, and I was ready for a small refreshment. 2 Pints and a glass of wine with dinner. Pate, then Haddock with poached egg and hollandaise at The White Horse. Delicious. Then it was back to my room to sleep on the saggiest, most uncomfortable bed in the world.
Ahh the joys.
Total Time: 7hr 45min
Distance: 58.56miles
Ride Time: 5hr 35 min
Avv Speed: 10.46mph
Just after breakfast, this is what you dont want to see.
Dartmoor ponies and the slowest ice cream queue on the planet.
Day 3
Mon 27th (Dartmoor - Taunton)
Started the day with a 2 mile (yes thats right, 2 mile) climb out of Mortenhampstead. Felt my breakfast trying to come back up a couple of times but i swallowed hard to keep it down. After 15 miles the same as yesterday, the roads flattened out to an extent.
General Wade obvisouly got as far as here for bridge building, but could'nt be arsed going into deepest cornwall. With the flatter terrain, i picked up speed and began to enjoy cycling again. I had passed better looking thached cottages (but been to knackered to stop for a photo), but this was work in progress and i was feeling good.
Finished early today and enjoyed a couple of pints while phoning my b & b for directions. Can i thank everybody who has been texting me messages of support/abuse. I don't answer my phone when im cycling , but i look at my messages whenever i stop for a break, and it has been overwhelming the support i have recieved from everyone. It makes a huge difference to my day.
So if you have been texting..... Keep it up, and if you have'nt, get the finger out and start tomorrow.
Total Time: 4hr 45min
Distance: 46.98miles
Ride Time: 3hr 41min
Avv Speed: 12.71.mph
Nice wee thatch.
Day 4
Tue 28th (Taunton - Bristol)
If you are ever in taunton, go for dinner and drinks at the
pitcher and piano, but try not to stay at the acorn lodge. I am sure they
filmed life on mars there. The tea tray sums the place up. Anyway, woke up
with a wee stiffness (oo er misses), but after 5 miles my legs had loosened
up.
The first 35 miles i did in 2.5 hours, averaging 14mph. I raced past
glastonbury with not a bit of mud in sight, then passed through beautiful
wee villages, wigmore and cheddar. I obviously admired them too much,
because i them realised i was lost. In the face of adversity, i always think
the best thing to do is to eat, and a cream tea fitted the bill perfectly.
With a full tummy, i collared 2 local somerseeeeeeet ladies (with about 7
teeth between them). All roight me annsome, up by the church, left by the
village hall, straight til you get the farm, then right up the hill.
This
took about half an hour before i lost the will to live. Eventually i said my
goodbyes and with 10% of their directions, found the road to bristol.
According to rachell dallas ( the voice of experience and authority) once i
have reached bristoll, the worst is out the way. Hip hip hooray.
Total time:
6hr 15 mins
Distance: 56.12 miles
Ride time: 4hr 22 mins
Avv
speed: 12.12mph.
An appetissing tea tray.
Mmmmm, the lunch of champions.
Once a punk, always a punk. Never trust a hippie. Veer left greigy boy, veer left.
Day 5
Wed 29th (Bristol - Leintwardine)
At last, a proper bedroom. I stayed in the luxurious hotel du vin in Bristol (thanks very much to Archie b's dad for sorting that one out). Beautiful room with a roll top bath and walk in drench shower setup in a minstrel gallery.
There was a wc up and downstairs which meant a huge culture shock for me, i didn't have to pee in the sink. Result. I forgot that some hotels did it this way. I was joined for dinner by Nick (Mr vita mix - the got of all blenders).
A large hendricks and tonic (very refreshing), 2 large & 1 medium glass of merlot, sardine & cous cous, chateaubriande then cheese. God its tough being an endurance athlete. We were looked after perfectly by Guisseppe, who then became our new best friend.
On the days cycle i left England for wales then back into England again. Before leaving the west country i had another 'moment' with a local. i wasn't far from Severn bridge and i just wanted to check my directions.
A bloke was cutting his grass, so i put my bike against a lamp post, walked towards him (10ft) in cycling gear and helmet." Can you tell me the way to Aust (bridge crossing) please". "Ye sure me ansome, its just down there (points), but its a fair old walk. Tumbleweed rolled by, then i pointed out my bike and helmet.
They breed them differently down here, don't they Jim and Louise? On paper today was the most difficult day with the whole distance/accent combo but through clenched buttocks and gritted teeth, i knocked it out.
Total time:
8hr
Distance: 81.41 miles
Ride time: 6hr 31 mins
Avv
speed: 12.46mph.
A proper bedroom.
Nick, Guissepe & Greig
A welcome sign.
An unwelcome sign.
Day 6
Thu 30th (Leintwardine - Tarpoley)
Ok, ok. Tell the truth who has ever heard of Leintwardine? Well you have now. It is only the home of the best b&b i have ever stayed in. Walford court is a 16th century converted court house, run superbly by Debbie and Craig, one of the friendliest couples you could ever meet.
The place is not licensed so craig piled me with his own booze. I stuck to the red and he got wired into the white, we were very quickly pished while we sorted the worlds problems out.
Debbies dinner (cooked on her aga) was chunky sea lentil soup, beef stew with veg and lyonnaise totties, then home made apple pie. Debbie's breakfast was power muesli (posh rabbit food - but tasty), then local butchers sausages, proper thick cut bacon and eggs from her 'girls'. I even got a doubble yoker.
After Breaky, they even gave me a very generous £30 donation for the hospitals. I can't put it in to words how beautiful the rooms are, or how perfect they are as hosts, but gentlemen, if you want to impress your wife/burd/boyfriend/goat......... Bring them here.
Today's cycle started with my first guests, Craig and his 6 year old son Callum. After i was on the road i passed the cock inn, where i was going to pop in for a pint, but after a few hours in the saddle, i wasn't sure if mines was in our out!!!
Bombing downhill through Kempton, a 'dod' of wood was thrown up by a passing car and lodged itself in my front wheel. I skidded to a stop from 23mph. Scary biscuits. How i didn't follow through, i will never know.
It seemed a long day today with my backside never comfy. If there are any of you strange boys that dress to the left, are happy in cuorduroy, and talking about soft furnishings out there, can you let me know the secret of embracing and enjoying the pain??????
Total time:
7hr 30mins
Distance: 73.69 miles
Ride time: 5hr 29 mins
Avv
speed: 13.41mph
The Court House.
My first guests.
Are you in or out?
The offending dod of wood.
Day 7
Fri 31st (Tarpoley - Kendall)
First of all, before I start, I have to apologise for the grammar and punctuation for all the blogs. This is because I am tapping them out on a mobile phone, and, I am an illiterate oik.
Well, well well. Last night I plummeted to new depths in this tour of hospitality establishments. My bedroom last night had nowhere to pee (not even a sink), no remote control for the telly, and no bedside lamp. After a few drinks and 80 miles in the saddle, I was not in the mood for getting out of bed to put the light & the telly off.
At breakfast time, there was a strange covering on the sugar bowl, which was on the 70's hostess trolley. Yew Tree's saving grace was that Sheila and her husband were lovely people (She gave me a fiver for my fund). I went into Tarpoley at night for dinner, which was eatable, but unremarkable.
The thing that sums the area up, is when I was ordering my Guinness at the bar, a girl came up and ordered her drink at the same time. "Can I have a white wine and Lemonade please?' 'Yeh sure love, Lieframilch?' 'Ooooohhhhh, yeh ta, that would be great' Quality.
With a huge dollop of germoline antiseptic cream, I hopped onto my saddle with gay abandon. The first 20 miles I did in jiffy time, then disaster struck. A puncture at a busy roundabout in Warrington. 30 minutes of gnashing teeth, then I was on my way again........... for 50 yards. I hadn't taken all of the sharp stone/glass out of the tyre and it had punctured the new inner tube. There followed 30 minutes of gnashing teeth & swearing, then I was finally on the road.
While I was swearing, I wee old man called Raymond from Nottingham passed me on his way to get a paper. We had a wee chat, then he stopped again, on his way back from the paper shop. Again, we had a wee chat, and he gave me all his change for my fund. ( I haven't counted it yet, but it will be about 7 or 8 Quid).
Raymond, if you ever get to read this, you have no idea how much of a difference that made to me, and my day. There are genuinely wonderful people out there. Thank you Raymond for being one of them.
That all set me back an hour, so I had to get my head down to try and make up some time. I speeded up when I saw the gypo 'Rosie & Jim' boats. I mean, I know I have a bit of Romany in me from the caravan, but that's taking it too far.
25 miles from Kendal, and I thought I had ran over a spring, but it turns out that a spoke had violently burst. This is a bike from the Lance Armstrong stable. These single testicle blokes don't know how to take a bike to its limits.....
4 miles from Kendal, and I knew the big man upstairs wasn't smiling on me. I got my 3rd puncture of the day. A snake bite puncture from going hard over a cats eye. By this time, I was quick at changing them, and 40 minutes later, I was at Kate's sisters house in Kendall.
Total time:
10hr
Distance: 92.77 miles
Ride time: 7hr
Avv
speed: 13.23mph.
The sugar bowl.
Rosie & Jim Boats.
Puncture repair fatbloke style.
Day 8
Sat 1st (Kendall - Dumfries)
I was met in Kendall (after 92 miles), by Allan's brother in law Dave. It was difficult to see the cold glass of Murphy's in his hand for me because of his halo, but he passed it to me none the less.
For those of you who don't know Allan Hogarth, I can only describe him as Scotland's 'Alistair Campbell' - No, not unemployed, but a political animal come PR guru. Oh, plus he is also built like a whippet, who cycled John 'O' Groats to Lands End in 1982........ Bas***d.
After my Murphys, a wonderful night ensued. A quick shower to make myself presentable, then Dave made Fajita's for me, Allan and the gorgeous Anna (Kate's sister). Breakfast was alfresco, with entertainment supplied by Molly and Thomas.
We set of at 9.30am, ready for a fight.
Snap.
You all Know it.
You have all driven it.
But have you climbed out of Kendall on a bike to get to the top?
I don't think so!!!!!!!!
The great Willy Bain (bike guru), said to me on departure from Glasgow. ''Remember Greig, the hill is your friend''. I now know Willy to be a liar, a cheat and a vagabond.........
After the summit, we settled into our rhythm, and pushed down to Penrith, then through to Carlisle. When going through Carlisle, I nearly tangled with a 'no righter' pensioner who wandered into the middle of the road for no apparent reason. Allan and I both agreed that the ensuing photo of me and Granny sprawled on the ground would have made a perfect blog picture. I will need to sharpen my aim.
Time stood still at 3.30pm today, when, after 525 miles I eventually arrived in Scotland. Allan expertly took my photo, while I desperately tried to hide the tears in my eyes, and the huge lump appearing in my throat.
After Gretna, we headed West to Dumfries. Right into a headwind. Big bit of a slog, but we got there to meet up with Simon Dear and John Lumley.
Total time 8hr 15 mins
Distance 84.92 miles
Ride Time 6 hr 56 mins
Avv Speed 12.22 mph
Thomas, molly, Allan & Greig.
A tear in my eye and a lump in my throat.
Day 9
Sun 2nd (Dumfries - Giffnock)
We met John and Simon at the Station Hotel, Dumfries. They had endured a grueling train journey from Glasgow, so were relaxing with a coffee.. Allan and I had only cycled 85 miles from Kendall to Dumfries, so we had to make do with a Guinness and a Miller.
After a wee rest, we cycled the 2 mile journey to South Park (our B & B). This took it out of John and Simon, so they grabbed the best en suite room, while Allan and I did'nt. By this time, my standards of room accom were low.
I went for a quick shower, but seen as I had changed my arse medication from vaseline to germoline, decided to take my cycling shorts in to wash them. Disaster. Carnage. As the water drained away, it looked like the aftermath of the Exon Valdez.
A quick taxi journey took us to Dumfries for dinner. The Cavan Arms. A real ale pub, with food and stunningly gorgeous staff. Allan and Simon never finished their dinner, so in the interest of cutting down on food waste, I finished both plates. With a full tummy, I fell in Love with the beautiful Sylvia, who gave me her shortbread heart....... And yes, her mum did say she was sorry.
On the taxi journey home, the driver insisted on giving us directions on how to get back to our route. The highlight of the directions, was the driver drawing me a diagram of a roundabout on his steering wheel. If there are any of you not sure of what a roundabout looks like, and where the 2nd exit generally is, please contact me and I will give you a master class.
In the morning after a great breakfast, Euan (our host), sorted us out and got us back on our route pretty quick. We all fought through the headwind to Sanquhar, with John and Simon setting the pace. Just before Sanquhar, we met up with Dougald Middleton (serious athletic cyclist) who had cycled down from Glasgow to join us. Fortunately for us, he had hammered down from Glasgow in jiffy time. This meant we never felt too guilty as he was always having to slow down for all 4 of us.
John fell away from the group as his cold started making him feel pretty miserable. His fall back plan was to get the train back home, but 2 missed trains and a bit of food inside him, gave him the spur to get back on his bike, and catch us up in Glasgow.
Three cheers for John.
The remaining 4 had carried on up the A76 to just outside Kilmarnock, when we came across a fallen cyclist. He was sorted out quickly by Greig giving him a repaired spare inner tube. This lasted 10 seconds (but what a 10 seconds!!!!), before the repair gave way and the tyre deflated. I took a lot of abuse for being a stingy tight arse before Dougald came up with his antique, rusted inner tube.
After our good deed, we rushed back to the O.P. for a well deserved Guinness and lots of hugs from the welcoming committee. Then, it was straight home to the main welcome party. Ali, Lucy, Emily, and eventually Molly. Its great to be home. Even if it is just for 1 night.
Total time 7hr 45 mins
Distance 74.19 miles
Ride Time 5 hr 52 mins
Avv Speed 12.61mph
Allan, Simon, John & Greig.
Greig and Dougald.
Sylvia and her short bread heart.
What a welcome home.
Day 10
Mon 3rd (Giffnock - Tyndrum)
By jingo. How good do you think it was to be home? On a scale of 1 to 10? 500, yup thats right. Lots of kisses and cuddles from Ali, Lucy and Emily, then a big slobbery kiss from Molly. Showered, then downstairs for Sunday dinner. Mmmmmmmmmm. Mushrooms in filo pastry, Beef Wellington, then Apple Crumble. This was a particularly magical effort from my stunning wife, as she has just organised her AAPT conferance and had a very late night on Saturday. The end of a very stressfull week. She just has the guides to knock into shape now.
I thought I would multi task with 3 large, ice cold Sauvignon Blancs (got me on the way), then a couple of nice glasses of red.
I read Emily a wee story in bed, watched the Mark Haddon play with Lucy, then to bed.
I must say, I felt a good bit lighter in the saddle on Monday morning. (thanks for your motivational work with me Ali)
Met Mike Battcock and John Lumley outside Andiamo for the days cycle.
We started with a very sociable morning. Cappucino at Moyra Janes, then off to Willy Bains for a bit of bike repair. Willys pal made tea for all of us while he fixed my bike (and Johns). As well as being a liar, a cheat and a vagabond, Willy is a genius with a bike, and one of the most genuinely nice and honest blokes you could ever meet. Cheers Willy.
Next stop was Box Of Delights for an arttery tightening roll 'n' bacon. Anne Marie, wee Helen and Jeannette were manning the fort, and it was great to see them.
Finally we were on our way. We took the cycle path from the SECC to Loch Lomond, then another to Tarbet. The problem with cycle paths is the boken 'buckie' bottles, poor signage, and the use of cheap tarmac with poor smoothing, This makes it bone, teeth, back and baw sack rattling uncomforable when you go on a thin tyred racer. Although the paths took longer than the roads, the weather and the scenery made it well worth it.
After Tarbet, we raced along to The Drovers for a well deserved pint, and shockerooooney..... The Drovers seems to be clean, well organised, and the food smelt good. It must have new owners.
The car park looked good, as there was a classic car corporate day out for some knobby looking accountants. TVR, Porche, Maserati, and the star of the show, a De Lorean. I didnt see Marty McFly, and I dont know if the car did 88 mph.
A short ride to Tyndrum for 2 more farewell pints with Mike (Train home), then John and I headed for our B&B.
Total Time: 8 hrs
Distance: 64.78 mls
Ride Time: 5hrs 43 mins
Avv Speed: 11.32mph
Mike and Greig.
Coffee at MJ's
Loch lomond sea plane.
Loch Lomond.
But where is the flux capacitor?
Day 11
Tue 4th (Tyndrum - Fort William)
Tyndrum. A lovely wee place. A lovely B & B run by one of the funniest wee blokes ( unintentionally ) you could ever meet. Chris has been in Tyndrum for 5 years after being 35 years in Durban (South Africa). John and I thought that he was ex army/raf/diplomatic service. Perfectly polite clipped English with the body language of Basil Fawlty. Genius guy to watch and listen to.
Dinner was a proper fish supper (with a bottle of red - posh chippy ) at the real food cafe. Well worth a visit. It was early to bed as we were both cream crackered after a hot days cycling, and a night at home.
Our day started with a climb out of Tyndrum onto Rannoch Moor. The mist was down and it started to get a bit chilly, so my jacket came on. After a while, the rain came on, and by the time we hit Glencoe, it was proper cold. For the first time, my jacket came off, fleece on, then jacket on over the top. Cosy Pie.
It was downhill to Ballahullish (past Sir Jimmys house), then along the flat in record speed to Fort William, where the World Mountain Bike Championships were starting. And I thought the stage and parade were my welcome.........
Totall Time: 5 hrs
Distance: 46.86 mls
Ride Time: 3 hrs 19 mins
Avv Speed: 14.07mph
Fish supper Tyndrum style.
Can you fix it for me to get to Fort William?
Buichaille etive mor.
Day 12
Wed 5th (Fort William - Drumnadrochit)
Anns a ghearasdan agus mo thonn grot. Ask Mike B, Derek B, or Uncle Gus for an explanation.
2 hours in Fort William passed quickly before Johns train home to Glasgow. 3 pints each were scoffed, with me even introducing an Irishman to the delights of Guinness extra cold. Result. Coals to Newcastle and all that jazz.
I was sad to see John go (even if he is a looney on a bike). He is a very intelligent and far traveled man. His best story involved a crowbar, and a chest hair pulling bitch fight at a gold mine in South Africa. You should ask him about it.....
On my own again, I checked into my B & B (nice), showered, then down to Fort William metropolis for the opening ceremony of The World Mountain Biking Championship. A huge event that Fort William was very lucky to get. Teams from many country's waved enthusiastically in the opening parade. Then followed a stunt bike demonstration, a welcome from some bloke with a bad haircut, then fireworks (At 7.00pm when it wasn't even dark - nice touch). This was not the opening of the Olympics, or the World Cup Finals, cos,
A)It was pishing with rain
B)Fort Williams Buildings are all grey granite.
C)It is Fort William.
Still, it passed a wee while. Dinner was at a Beefeater (funds are being stretched), for a Prawn Cocktail and a rare Sirloin. Unfortunately there was no Black Forest Gateau on offer to top off the 70s/80s kitsch.
In the morning, my opened curtains revealed a minging day with wind and heavy drizzle. After an average breakfast, (the milk was off, and I only noticed after eating 1/2 a bowl of Crunchy Nut - Ludicrously tasty. That curdled taste stayed in my stomach till about 2.00pm), I headed the 6 miles up to Aonach Mor to see some mountain bikes. £11 to get in for normal people, but not if you are a jammy silver tongued devil. Once I had 'blagged' my way in, it was very impressive. There is a lot to see and do, and I must admit I wouldn't mind paying to get in over the weekend if I was not otherwise engaged. It is well worth a visit if you are free.
Once on the road proper, I climbed out of Aonach Mor. Just passed Spean Bridge, I passed the Commando Monument. It stands alone, at the top of a hill with beautiful views. The low misty clouds adds to the atmosphere. I think we all forget the sacrifice some people make.
I carried on the road, and in the distance, eventually saw the weather break. Boy oh boy, that spurred me on. I can only describe the road as constantly flat up and down. (It makes perfect sense to me).
I was in the mood for speed, and singing at the top of my voice to Black Grape, The Proclaimers, Orson, The Clash & McFly (All would have been 9000+ points on singstar). I passed Urquhart Castle (bathed in sunshine), then got to my final destination, Drumnadrochit.
Total Time :5 hrs
Distance: 52.87 mls
Ride Time: 3hrs 40 mins
Avv Speed 14.36 mph
The commando monument.
Mountain stunt bike.
There is good weather in the distance.
Urquhart castle but no monster.
Day 13
Thur 6th (Drumnadrochit - Lairg)
Arrived at the Benleva Hotel at 3.30pm. As soon as I walked in, the 4 blokes at the bar, and the barman said hello and starting chatting to me. A very welcoming and friendly bar. I had 3 pints if Guinness out in the sun, while making phone calls and chatting to the locals. Great afternoon.
Up for a shower, then snoozed for 20 minutes while watching the news. It was time for some more exercise, so I walked about 1.5miles down through a forest to the banks of Loch Ness. It was beautiful evening, and the views out over the loch were magical. What a country we live in! My walk back up to the hotel worked up a hunger and it was satisfied by a starter of plump seared scallops, loin of lamb salad (seriously good), then home made apple crumble with creammmmmmmmm. All washed down with a bottle of house red. Nice, nice, very nice.
After a mammoth breakfast of porridge (big bowl), full Scottish fry and a ton of toast, I was ready for an easy day in the saddle. 2 miles out of 'Drum', I came across the 15% sign. I thought I left all of those buggers back in Cornwall. Fortunately I hadn't forgotten what to do ( Its just like ridding a bike so they say), head down and slog ot out. Still there was a long gradual down hill the other side to enjoy.
i was finding the day very difficult. 3rd last day syndrome i purpose. the road seemed to last for ever and it didnt help when it became obvious to me that i had mucked up my mileage, and i had about 8 miles more to do than expected. my level of 'scunneredness' rose to new levels when i passed the sign to dublin.
Was i that lost? Just outside lairg, i passed the local mart that all of the local sheep are sold at. Thankfully simon dear was not with me as he would have thought it was something different. That boy has a deviant side to him that is both worrying and exciting!!!! It was a welcome sight to arrive at the nip inn for a guinness after a long, long day.
Total time 7.5 hrs
Distance 60.94 miles
Ride time 4 hrs 42 mins
Avv speed 12.94 mph
I thought i had lost them.
Loch ness at the drum.
The local leisure centre.
Am i that lost?
Day 14
Fri 7th (Lairg - Bettyhill)
Thursday night in The Nipp Inn, Lairg was not exciting me. Fortunately, a phone call inviting me to dinner from Lord and Lady Bath of Skibo, perked me up no end. A quick shower, and I was gorgeous enough to go and have dinner with the posh people.
Simon picked me up, and drove back to his country pile. (It was on the road that I had cycled earlier).
I realised why I was invited to dinner. I was on duty. Bed-time story duty. Sophie and Jemima were my customers, so we read 2 stories, the best being George the scruffy Giant.
Dinner was Claire's superb home made fish pie, then Markie Sparkies Summer Pud (With creme fresh). All washed down with a couple of Guinness then some red wine. Lovely. A comfy seat, coffee and some chocs, then it was 10.45pm. Time for Simon to drive me back to reality. It was a great effort from them to see me, and it was very much appreciated. It is always great to see old friends, especially when they make such an effort.
Breakfast in The Nipp Inn underlined why I was so grateful not to have eaten there the night before. 2 Hot Dog sausages on my full Scottish breakfast plate. (Emily would have been delighted).
It was breezy when I climbed on to my bike. It really is out in the wilds up here. The main A road from Lairg to Tongue changes from a normal to a single track with passing places. Boy, it is bleak. You don't want to break down here. It was a slow climb to the top of a big hill, the a lovely long descent to Altnaharra. The it was on to a B road (no difference from the A road) and in to a tough head wind for 18 miles to Bettyhill. Hopefully, that wind will be behind me for my last leg tomorrow.
I was first to arrive at the Bettyhill Hotel. Time for a quick Guinness then a shower. Ali, Lucy, Emily & molly arrived about 4.00pm. The girls had stopped just outside Inverness for lunch, during which the were 'buzzed ' by a couple of low flying RAF planes. Ali told the girls it was just the pilots wanting to see what the girls were having for lunch. Lucy had got such a fright she said the pilots could see and check when it came out her bum! Ahhhh, my girls have got breeding!
My mum and dad will be arriving later tonight. They were not leaving Glasgow till about 1.00pm as mum was getting her nails done. Its always good to prioritise your life. I mean, you wouldn't want to greet your son after 890 miles with bogging nails, would you?
Finally for tonight, as well as thanking all of you for your generous donations, I want to thank a wee wifie that my mother in law Margaret met on the no 43 bus from Carntyne. They were chatting about charity shops, then Margaret mentioned what I was doing. This wee 'randomer wifie' then gave Margaret her £2.50 change for me. Wee Glesgae wifie, I salute you.
Definitely finally, before I go for my last supper, can I thank Dr Jill Griffiths. The good Dr contacted me saying she knew a good plastic surgeon, who could surgically remove my saddle, then tidy up my back side. I appreciate your misguided prognosis, but it is a vet I need seen as I have the arse of a baboon,,,,,,,
Total time 5 hrs
Distance 44.94 miles
Ride time 3 hrs 22 mins
Avv speed 13.35 mph
Rainbow at lairg.
A836 from lairg to tongue.
Bettyhill is obviously a busy place.
Day 15
Sat 8th (Bettyhill - John O’Groats)
By the time mum and dad arrived I was on my 3rd pint of particularly tasty Guinness. Kisses and cuddles, then it was time for dinner. Surprise, Surprise, I was starving. Prawn Cocktail, Lamb Steak then Apple Pie and custard. All washed down with yet another bottle of red. To celebrate my last night, I decided to fulfill an ambition of mine. I retired to my bedroom with 2 ladies. Alison and Molly. What a night!!!!!!!!!!
I breakfasted on my own at 8.00am while the rest of The Andersons had a long lie. I was still a bit sleepy, as I was up with Molly at 5.45am. ( The weather was stinking then). At 9.20am, I said my goodbyes and set off on my last leg.
The first 16 miles was quite hard with the road constantly up and down. There was blustery wind and rain, which meant my jacket was on and off as I overheated, then got cold. After 16 miles, the road flattened out, and I managed to set a good pace. The coastline is amazing. Very, very rugged. I passed Dounreay (Atomic Energy Site). A couple of miles past Dounreay, there was a small wind farm with 6 wind turbines on it (1 of them wasn't working). What is the future for our energy??????
I was making great time, and knowing the requirements of my welcoming committee, I was forced to stop beside The Castle Of Mey (Queen mums highland home) for a cup of tea. Refreshed again, I left knowing the last 7 miles would go by in a flash.
I raced into John O Groats. This wasn't the Champs Elesys with ticker tape and fireworks. It was better than that. I was the end of my 944 mile adventure, and my family were there waiting for me. I had envisaged looking strong, tanned and magnificent, but the reality was a bit different. Tears and snotters were running from my eyes and nose, and I couldn't speak as the raw emotion convulsed through my body. Cuddles from Ali, Lucy, Emily, mum & dad. Even Molly muscled her way in.
A group of people from a nearby coach came over for a chat. They were fundraisers from Farringdon. They were lovely people, saying lovely things to me. I collected £8 from them as well. Thank you very much to them.
After I had been sprayed with the obligatory bottle of champagne, (some was left for Lucy & Emily to slug away at), we made our way up to the 'signpost' for photos. The bloke had obviously been on a Box Of Delights customer service course. Rude, unhelpful & slow. And he wondered why he was quiet????
My friend Lisa arrived from Ackergill Tower (big posh fancy place), with more Champagne. Lisa had hoped to join me for a cycle, but she happened to be very busy at work while I was up North. Shame.
We popped into the Groats Inn for a celebratory pint of Guinness, and I got my form stamped at the end. It has been filled in by every B&B along the way as proof for my completion certificate.
Lisa very kindly let me go back to Ackergill Tower for a shower. They had a party from Deutsche Bank staying in the Tower, so I got the use of one of the posh cottages to shower and change in. Naked, I looked at myself in the full length mirror. My legs looked like a footballers with muscles in places I had never had before, and steel running through my veins. Fortunately I still had the things that my friends expect. A big pot belly, a couple of chins, and a magnificent pair of pendulous 'moobs' (hairy, of course).
Feeling fresh again, we stopped in Wick for some lunch, then headed home to Glasgow, stopping in Aviemore for a quick coffee and stretch of the legs. It was a long drive home taking 6 hours from Wick to Giffnock. It seemed so much easier on my bike........
Total time: 3 hrs 55 mins
Distance: 50.17miles
Ride Time: 3hrs 19 mins
Avv Speed: 15.13 mph
Bettyhill Beach.
What a welcome.
Some people are on the road. They think its all over.....It is now.
The boot of my car. And this is where it shall stay!
THE END
This has been the most fantastic adventure on so many levels. When I look at a map of the UK, I still cant believe that I have cycled 'end to end'.
I have always known that I am very fortunate to have a lot of good friends, but the support from so many has been overwhelming. My fund has exceeded expectations and is still growing. Many children (and their families) will benefit thanks to your generosity.
I appreciate that it is a tad selfish, buggering off for 2 1/2 weeks, and my family have been unflinching with their support.
My final thanks, has to go to Daniel, my genius web designer friend. Daniel has worked his backside off, and if you have enjoyed my web site, and are in the market place for one - Daniel is your man. Give me a shout if you want to meet him. He is very reasonable, and my finders fee is too!!!!
Total time Out: 99hrs 25 mins
Total Distance: 944.42 miles
Total Ride Time: 73 hrs 40 mins
Overall Avv Speed: 12.82 mph